If you’re among the hundreds of millions who have seen or read Fifty Shades of Grey, you’re probably left with one burning question: how do I get my sex life to look more like that?
As Elite Daily reports, those living in NYC or LA can put their name on a (very long, we’re sure) list for a one-of-a-kind sexual experience straight out of the mind of E.L. James. But if you aren’t willing to shell out thousands of dollars (or wait who knows how many months) in order to partake in the exclusive Mr. Grey experience, there’s hope for you yet. Here are a few simple, and inexpensive, ways to incorporate Christian and Ana-worthy passion into your own love life.
Talk the (Dirty) Talk
According to RedBook, a recent poll found that 50 percent of people are bored in their relationships and crave more sexual adventure. In addition to adding some variety and zest to your sex life, going outside of your comfort zone could ultimately bring you and your partner closer together. It’ll happen not only in the bedroom, but in the everyday intimate moments you share as well.
Before jumping right into role-play inspired by Fifty Shades, make sure you carve out some time to discuss how you and your significant other envision the experience going. If your partner has already seen the film or read the books, discuss your favorite scenes and go from there, delving into your own fantasies and fetishes as you talk. If your lover is new to the racy series, introduce the possibility of incorporating the material into your sex life by sharing the passages you’re most drawn to, telling your partner what intrigues you about the scenes. Chances are they’ll be just as interested as you are in giving something new a try.
While putting Fifty Shades into practice is all about the feeling of letting go and giving up control to your partner, it’s important to remember that you should only go as far as either of you are comfortable with. Thus, you need to communicate your boundaries well before you step into the bedroom (and into any role-playing). Talk about your fantasies, your desires, and especially your limits. Choosing a safe word will help to establish trust between you and your lover, and it ensures play stays at a pace that feels right for both of you.
Though Fifty Shades takes BDSM to a more intense level than many of us may feel comfortable with for a first time role-playing scenario, easing into the dominant and submissive roles with your partner is a great way to dip your toes into the S&M water. Allow your lover to give you orders (or vice versa), such as “touch me there” or commanding them to “fetch” an item for you.
Next, try out a simple blindfold or light restraint by using a soft scarf or silky tie. Minimizing one sense, such as sight, enhances the other senses, making even the graze of your partner’s fingertips feel incredibly erotic against sensitive skin. For even more electrifying sensations, trail an ice cube down your lover’s stomach or back. As Cosmopolitan notes, restraining your partner and rubbing them down with something icy is an ideal way to make things feel more extreme without involving any pain or serious discomfort.
Ready for more? Take it to the next level by acting out the more intense scenes from Christian’s playbook.
Add to Your Reading List
The best part about erotica (besides the steamy scenes) is the freedom they allow for exploration in the bedroom. Reading a kinky novel can inspire new ideas and even increase the level of comfort you have with living out those fantasies in real life. Adam and Eve remarks that bringing Christian and Anastasia’s sensual tales to life can lead to hours of pleasure in the bedroom, not to mention a hotter sexual experience overall. What’s more, there is an ever-increasing number of options available for your erotic reading pleasure, from how-to guides to fiction to non-fiction offerings and everything in between. Whatever you’re into, there’s definitely a book for that. Sure, Fifty Shades may have been your first foray into the world of naughty novels, but why stop there? As Prevention points out,
reading erotica, whether it be alone or with a partner, can boost your libido, making for better orgasms and a more fulfilling sex life all around.