eHarmony Fail

August 24, 2010

A year ago I tried eHarmony. It didn’t work and I canceled my membership but occasionally they send me profiles in the hopes that I will read something that strikes my fancy. I could remove my name from their list but you never know, they might send me a profile that interests me. So far they have only sent me blog fodder.

In my profile I made it clear I am a humor writer. Writer being the operative word. It is only implied that I appreciate good grammar.


And then there is Steve


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  • Reply MsDarkstar August 24, 2010 at 7:30 pm

    Maybe you could get lucky and Steve would have Ice Cream Bars (Good Humor brand… sorry, I had to…).

    Sounds like Kevin is quite verbose…. so, what Kevin REALLY wants is a good listener. (I wonder if I could make money putting together online dating profiles for people….Hmmm….)

    At least you’re getting Blog Fodder!

    • Reply redheadranting August 26, 2010 at 1:04 pm

      I’m not a good listener, just ask my kids. If he doesn’t mind that glazed over look I can sit and be quiet for a while but he can’t quiz me later about what he said.

      • Reply MsDarkstar August 26, 2010 at 5:03 pm

        I laughed when I saw that an eHarmony rep came and left a message on your blog. They’re EVERYWHERE! *grin

  • Reply Pricilla August 24, 2010 at 7:42 pm

    At least he honest about have a good humur.
    Now to go google humur to see if it is contagious.

  • Reply Comedy Plus August 24, 2010 at 8:17 pm

    Good grief. What a loser. Just saying. I know what Steve is looking for and he didn’t put that part down.

    Have a terrific day. 🙂

  • Reply Mikewj August 24, 2010 at 8:38 pm

    Which reminds me, what happened to James? Did I miss a post or two about the outcome of that relationship? Did I ruin the relationship with my snarky comments and teasing? Did James lack good humur, or honesty, or did he fail to read the directions that you gave him for dating you?

    I think we deserve to know, Jen. Speaking for myself, I was very invested in that relationship…..

  • Reply Shawn Ohara August 24, 2010 at 9:20 pm

    I tried eHarmony. I had better results from it then other sites. My pet peeve has been women who contact me and then refuse to send a picture. I do not ask right away as I am aware some women have security concerns and some prefer to preserve their privacy.

    Perhaps Steve intended to spell ‘hummer’.

    • Reply Jayne August 24, 2010 at 9:41 pm

      Or humus. “I have good humus. ” Yeah. Maybe he was inviting someone to join him for humus. I like humus. I should look Steve up.

    • Reply redheadranting August 26, 2010 at 1:02 pm

      Women like to think that men will fall in love with their personalities and that when it is time to show a picture they won’t care that they look like a dog. Guys don’t realize that they look like a dog and don’t care about sending pictures.

  • Reply Linda R. August 24, 2010 at 9:24 pm

    Hmmm, glad I’m not in the dating pool. And about Mikewj’s comment, inquiring minds do want to know.

  • Reply Anonymous August 24, 2010 at 9:30 pm

    Let’s pause for a moment and think about what Steve’s trying to say, here. There is such a thing a a humur. Here’s what Wikipedia says about it:

    The Humur live around the cities of Babanusa, Muglad and Alfoula. They are divided into two groups. The Ajaira, who live in the area from Muglad to Abiyai. There are seven clans in the Ajaira. The “Nathir” or leader of the Ajaira is Ali Nimr. The second group, the Falita, live in Babanusa, Alfoula and Kajira. The leader of the Falita is Abdul Elmonim Alshowein. There are five clans of the Falita.

    Or maybe Steve’s trying to say he’s a wild and crazy guy…OMG they sent you Steve Martin’s profile.

    Or maybe he’s a Good Humor Man…which is what I thought before I enlarged it…and that wouldn’t be a bad thing – ice cream for life.

    Or he might have a Hummer. But you know what they say: the bigger the car the smaller the…

    Or he might be looking for a good hummer. In which case, Jen, I need say no more.

    • Reply CatLadyLarew August 25, 2010 at 11:21 am

      I think Dufus has covered all the possibilities here!

      • Reply redheadranting August 26, 2010 at 1:01 pm

        I think so too. And aren’t they all looking for a good hummer?

    • Reply redheadranting August 26, 2010 at 1:01 pm

      There is no way I can respond to this comment publicly.

      Is Steve Martin single?

  • Reply Tarheel Rambler August 24, 2010 at 9:34 pm

    I have a hunch that ignoring grammar and spelling is a ploy to get unsuspecting females to fall for the “hunk” who is so good looking that being illiterate doesn’t really matter. The reality is he looks and sounds like Barney Fife.

    • Reply redheadranting August 26, 2010 at 1:00 pm

      I’m past caring about their looks (sort of) now I am more interested in if they can spell and if they have a job.

      • Reply Tarheel Rambler August 26, 2010 at 6:07 pm

        In other words, as long as they don’t look like The Elephant Man, you’re open to the possibilities.

        Sent from my Android Phone

        —– Reply message —–

  • Reply Jayne August 24, 2010 at 9:37 pm

    There’s been an e-harmony post rattling around in my brain for a while now. Hmmm…

  • Reply eHarmony_Jack August 24, 2010 at 11:54 pm

    Hi Redhead ranting… Yeah, you’ll get matches you’re not crazy about. Maybe it’s time to retake the Relationship Questionnaire. You can have our Customer Care representatives reset it for free: Good luck! -Jack

    • Reply redheadranting August 26, 2010 at 12:59 pm

      Hey Jack! Thanks but I always get that message saying “there is no one in our system that matches you” like I am some freak or something. Then the system takes pity on me and sends me people like Kevin and Steve.

      • Reply Jayne August 27, 2010 at 9:36 pm

        I get the same freakin’ damn message. After spending a freakin’ damn hour filling out the freakin’ damn thing, too! Like there’s gotta be a freakin’ damn bazillion people in their data base and NOT ONE is right for me?!

        Okay. That was basically my post on e-harmony.

        Maybe you and I are meant to be together, Jen. Hey, if Carville and Matlin can do it. 😉

  • Reply Lolasdiner August 25, 2010 at 12:55 am

    You know, that’s the first thing my girlfriend and I noticed about each other when we first started instant messaging. We both use proper grammar and spelling and we are both fast typists and can actually keep up with each other.

    P.S. I highly recommend That’s where my girlfriend and I met. And don’t be a chicken, send messages to those who peak your interest. Don’t wait for the other person to message you. That’s how I found her.

    Don’t give up! Get started on! You deserve to find a quality man!

  • Reply Nicky August 25, 2010 at 1:13 am

    I find it interesting that Kevin is searching for someone who can “resolve conflict when it happens”. Baggage, much?

    • Reply redheadranting August 26, 2010 at 12:57 pm

      Which is why Kevin is not for me. I can’t resolve conflict unless I win. Which is not exactly the mentality necessary for a good give and take relationship.

  • Reply meleahrebeccah August 25, 2010 at 2:06 am

    “opps!” Ahahahahah. Good lord. I’m glad I’ve never signed up for any of those online dating sites!

    • Reply redheadranting August 26, 2010 at 12:57 pm

      I can handle the “opps” it’s the “alot” that I can’t. Why isn’t anyone noticing the “alot”?

  • Reply CatLadyLarew August 25, 2010 at 11:22 am

    eHarmony and those places should have you put your blog on the site. Then you could get a much better idea of what people are like… and whether or not they actually have and humor or humors or hummers or whatever.

    • Reply redheadranting August 26, 2010 at 12:56 pm

      eHarmony lacks a sense of humor. It takes dating very seriously. I don’t think they want me blogging over there.

  • Reply Christine August 25, 2010 at 11:35 am

    Kevin just stole my heart with his plea for support and generosity. Opps! I forgot for a moment that I was taken.

    Wonder how you pronounce this ‘humur’? Hoomer, maybe?

    • Reply redheadranting August 26, 2010 at 12:55 pm

      Isn’t there a bone called the humur? Or maybe I’m thinking of the femur, or is that a cat? Now I’m really confused.

  • Reply Anonymous August 25, 2010 at 12:13 pm

    I am so glad I don’t have to do the dating game. I’ve been with hubby for 30 years, and he still doesn’t get it sometimes. Not starting over.

    • Reply redheadranting August 26, 2010 at 12:54 pm

      I agree, if I had made it 30 years with someone no matter how much I hated them I wouldn’t start over. Dating sucks.

  • Reply Don August 25, 2010 at 12:19 pm

    I never used the sites, but I’d be in trouble if grammar was and spelling were a “selling” point, not good at either, but then that’s what the computer is for (my Ph.D. is in Comp Sci, let it do the work for me!)… While my wife and I met on line, via my blog and an entry that caught her interest, the best way still to meet is in person, but the places to meet in person and remain safe shrink daily…. Do you go to Church? Any single, nice men there?

    • Reply redheadranting August 26, 2010 at 12:53 pm

      I’m not looking to meet anyone right now, I should have made that clear in the post. I figure when it’s time it will happen without me trying to force the issue. Online is hard because you get to know only a side of them, the side they want you to see. Reality usually isn’t as great as what appears in print.

  • Reply Rebecca August 25, 2010 at 2:53 pm

    We grammar nazis are some of the most despised people in the world! I’ll bet Kevin and Steve were just trying to get your goat; maybe they did it on purpose!!

    • Reply redheadranting August 26, 2010 at 12:51 pm

      If that were the case it would prove that they did indeed have a sense of humur but they should understand that as a writer I take my grammar very seriously, I never joke about grammar.

  • Reply Linda Medrano August 25, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    Dang! I don’t think either of them sounds like they have any potential at all. Go take an autoshop class. Not only will you be able to fix your car if it breaks, you might meet somebody who would fix it for you. I know where I’m going if Alex and I get divorced and I need a new husband. Two words. Home Depot! Toyota truck. Tape measure hanging off of tool belt. Oh yeah. Contractor time!

    • Reply redheadranting August 26, 2010 at 12:48 pm

      Ex#2 is a contractor. And there is something to having a contractor around. Of course ex#2 will usually take care of anything that is broken around here so that area is covered.

  • Reply babs (beetle) August 25, 2010 at 7:45 pm

    Humur, humor, it’s all weird to me 🙂

    I too was thinking about James, and what happened. Do tell, unless you want to keep at least one thing private.

    • Reply redheadranting August 26, 2010 at 12:47 pm

      I suppose I should write a post about it, eh?

  • Reply Katherine Murray August 25, 2010 at 9:31 pm

    Ha ha! opps!

    • Reply redheadranting August 26, 2010 at 12:45 pm

      I write that all the time but I do catch it, usually.

  • Reply Jenny H August 27, 2010 at 3:46 am

    Opps! You should totally date Steve. Maybe that whole profile was a joke coinciding with his gud humer. 😀

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