Dumb Shit I Do Things that piss me off

Doubts

October 18, 2010
park bench, empty park bench

I’m having a lot of doubts these days. I’m not sure what I am doing or why for that matter. I want to finish this book but the more I work on it the more I think it sucks. I also know that I need to refine the focus of it, I have an idea but honestly I don’t know what the fuck I am doing. I’ve let my blog go to hell, I have been a horrible blogger in that I haven’t visited any other blogs in weeks and what is worse, I don’t think I care that much. And that makes me feel really guilty.

I care what everyone else is doing in the blogosphere, and I miss all you guys, but I just can’t seem to bring myself to read anything and commenting would be out of the questions because…I don’t know why but the thought of coming up with a witty comment or even a not so witty comment makes me break out into a cold sweat.

I have to shit or get off the pot. I know that. I can’t afford to do this anymore. I actually looked for and applied for some jobs today. Real life jobs, in an office. Jobs I am no longer qualified to do I might add. And, certainly jobs I can’t afford to do, I can’t afford to live on and raise two kids on an entry level salary and yet I have been out of the real world jobs for so long my resume is laughable. How the hell did this happen? And what the fuck am I going to do about it?

I don’t know. I do know I am stuck between a rock and a hard place and I don’t have a clue about changing the situation.

Sorry this is so depressing but that’s all I got right now.

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