Charlie Sheen on Mission to Bring Back Favorite Catchwords from the 80s

February 28, 2011

Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen trainwreck, Charlie Sheen interview with TMZ, Charlie Sheen gnarly, bitchin', epic,

Break out your big hair and head bands, Charlie Sheen is on a mission to bring back gnarly, bitchin’ and epic. In interviews from The Today Show, TMZ and ABC, Charlie laced his rants with 80s catchword favorites.

When asked what he hoped his kids would take away from his drug use when they read about it later, Sheen said

I hope they say “Dad, fill in the blanks, this shit is gnarly, this shit is epic.”

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Other awesomely bitchin’ quotes from Charlie

The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning.

They lay down with their ugly wives and their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and say “I CAN’T PROCESS IT,” well, no, you never will, just stop trying. Sit back and enjoy the show

I’m not Thomas Jefferson. He was a pussy.

Read behind the frickin’ hieroglyphics…this is cryptology. I hope they would see that not all of this is totally serious, there is a reason I have mad success in comedy.

I  don’t have burnout my gearbox. I just go.

Sorry my life is so much more bitchin’ than yours. I planned it that way.

I am on a drug, it’s called Charlie Sheen.

Yuu can’t process me with a normal brain

I’m tired of pretending like I’m not special, Like I’m not a bitchin’ rockstar from mars.

I have tiger blood and Adonis DNA

Defeat is not an option, CBS picked a fight with a warlock.


Come Wednesday morning, they’re going to rename it Charlie Bros, and not Warner Bros.

Duh, winning!

Charlie Sheen – the gift that keeps on giving

This is part of the Charlie “Rock Star from Mars” Sheen Blog Carnival, please be sure to visit all the participants

Charlie Sheen VS Muammar Gaddafi

I am Charlie, I’m a Bore

Charlie Sheen Bumper Stickers

Crazy? Or Crazy Like a Fox?

I Will Not Write About Charlie Sheen

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  • Reply Rene Foran March 1, 2011 at 3:35 am

    this is epic…and I want to see Charlie in a cage match with Thomas Jefferson

  • Reply Anonymous March 1, 2011 at 3:44 am

    I just watched the back hald of the Piers Morgan interview, and it was a weird blend of scary and almost funny. For someone who says he isnt on anything, sure looks like he is on something.

    My fave is that he is on a drug, and its called Charlie Sheen…

    • Reply Jayne March 2, 2011 at 5:01 pm

      I actually think Piers did a pretty good job with that interview. He seemed to get some moments of sanity out of him and even had him taking responsibility for some of his shit storm.

  • Reply Mikewj March 1, 2011 at 8:00 am

    Okay, I’m officially sick and tired of Sheen now. He needs some help. Maybe he could call Lindsay Lohan for advice.

  • Reply JunkDrawer March 1, 2011 at 9:46 am

    Who needs Two and Half Men when you’ve got the Charlie Sheen Show. What I want to know is why no one has locked him in a room without access to a phone or the internet. He needs to stop talking yesterday.

    My personal favorite is “I don’t have burnout in my gearbox. I just go.” That’s actually quite a good motto, if you’re an athlete, a mover and a shaker, or you know, someone who’s not trying to kill themselves before spring.

  • Reply Daisy the Curly Cat March 1, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    I have tiger blood, too. But I do not think we are related.

    • Reply JunkDrawer March 1, 2011 at 1:51 pm

      LMAO. No, Daisy. You couldn’t be related. He crazy!

      • Reply redheadranting March 1, 2011 at 11:33 pm

        No, you are not related. You have class, he does not.

  • Reply lisleman March 1, 2011 at 3:36 pm

    do you think if they put him, Lohan, Spears, and a few other celebrity nut cases on an island, they would all destroy each other? Tiger blood – yeah he should added to a tiger’s blood through digestion.

    BTW – tech question – did you have a problem with DISQUS this morning I did.

    • Reply redheadranting March 1, 2011 at 11:32 pm

      I didn’t notice a problem with Disqus but it wouldn’t surprise me, I often have problems with it.

      He and Lindsey were both on Today this morning. I missed Lindsey because while she is also a train wreck she can’t match the mess that is Charlie and I only have room for one train wreck at a time.

      • Reply lisleman March 2, 2011 at 12:25 am

        It started working ok but now it looks like leaving replies to comments doesn’t work.

        strange it just worked??? I left and support request but who knows if they’ll figure it out.

  • Reply Anne March 1, 2011 at 3:37 pm

    While I think Charlie Sheen is a wack job, you highlighted the one area where he and I agree. I would love to bring back the 80s :). Sadly, that’s the last time I was hip.

    • Reply redheadranting March 1, 2011 at 11:31 pm

      Sadly we weren’t hip in the 80s we were just too young to know any better. I think it was our generation that singlehandedly put that hole in the ozone layer with all our hairspray.

      • Reply Jayne March 3, 2011 at 12:19 am

        How I wish I’d invested in the company that made AquaNet.

  • Reply babs (beetle) March 1, 2011 at 3:41 pm

    I know his father more, but have to say that Charlie Sheen is obnoxious, arrogant and a very sad man! He doesn’t see it yet, but one day he will.

    • Reply redheadranting March 1, 2011 at 11:30 pm

      I don’t think he will see it ever. I doubt he will live long enough to have those realizations. Unless, it is all just a joke, and at this point it wouldn’t surprise me.

  • Reply mrsblogalot March 1, 2011 at 6:05 pm

    He’s got a real train wreck thing going on. Sad that it’s definitely just a matter of time before he comes face to face with the wreckage.

    Don’t get me wrong..I’ll still watch

    • Reply redheadranting March 1, 2011 at 11:29 pm

      He could prove us wrong since he is clearly ‘winning!’. I will also continue to watch because I don’t have much of a life and honestly this is better than anything I have witnessed in a long time.

  • Reply MomZombie March 1, 2011 at 10:12 pm

    Wow. I used to think he was all that and a bag of chips back in the day. I wonder what color the sky is in his world? I want to know why anyone at all is giving him any attention. The cure? Fire him. Ignore him.

    • Reply redheadranting March 1, 2011 at 10:47 pm

      Why are they giving him attention? Because you can’t make this stuff up, it is bizarre as all get out and it is a train wreck in slow motion.


  • Reply HeathRobots March 1, 2011 at 10:38 pm

    I feel like if he ever throws in a ‘Cowabunga’ then Pee Wee Herman might jump out and celebrate him saying the word of the day. It’s basically the only ridiculous 80’s surfer slang he has yet to use.

    • Reply redheadranting March 1, 2011 at 10:45 pm

      I think I even heard him say “Gag me (with a spoon)” today on the Today Show. Maybe he never left the 80s. Seems to me most people stopped doing cocaine in the 80s, at least the ones who are still alive.

  • Reply Camesha March 1, 2011 at 10:47 pm

    This dude is soooo stuck in the 80’s. At one point he said something about his friends being gnarly gnarlingtons. I thought WTH? What language are you speaking. I love all the warlock references too. He is CLASSIC!

    • Reply redheadranting March 1, 2011 at 10:49 pm

      Gnarly gnarlingtons? Are you kidding me? That is awesome and I must force it
      into my lexicon from now on. My favorite is still the tiger blood and Adonis
      DNA, it doesn’t get better than that.

  • Reply Barbara March 1, 2011 at 11:24 pm

    He almost out-crazies Tom Cruise. Almost. But I’m sure Tom is happy the finger pointing and laughing is aimed at Charlie for now. It won’t last, because no one can totally out-crazy Tom for too long before their brain explodes or they turn into Gary Busey. Who can be that totally nuts all the time and still be walking around like a free man? Oh, yeah. Celebrities.

    • Reply redheadranting March 1, 2011 at 11:36 pm

      He definitely out crazies Tom Cruise and is quickly out crazying Mel Gibson. In fact I hear that Mel might go to jail for the abuse thing and I bet he is really happy that Charlie is out there so he gets bumped from the front page. I don’t get Gary Busey but his teeth scare me.

    • Reply redheadranting March 1, 2011 at 11:58 pm

      Have I missed something Tom Cruise did? I know he did the couch jumping and
      had that fight with Brooke Shields but what else has he done? He doesn’t let
      porn stars take care of his kids does he?

  • Reply Mike March 2, 2011 at 3:30 am

    I could barely watch this. I get what he’s trying to get across, but he sounds like he’s trying REALLY hard to affirm himself. Also, he’s jonesing like crazy.

    • Reply Rachele March 2, 2011 at 2:27 pm

      The Goddesses seem to be jonesing as well (on the Today show). Just saying…

      • Reply redheadranting March 3, 2011 at 12:02 am

        Can we just call them his girlfriends? I can’t bring myself to refer to them as The Goddesses. They aren’t all that, and I don’t think they warrant the term at all. I won’t call them goddesses, I can’t and you can’t make me. They are whores or sluts or just really misguided but they are not goddesses. And, I feel really bad for their parents too.

  • Reply Lauren March 2, 2011 at 4:43 am

    I just watched the ABC interview, hypnotized by Sheen’s verbal gymnastics. I guess that’s what happens when you mix Tiger Blood with Adonis DNA.

    • Reply redheadranting March 3, 2011 at 12:01 am

      I think it is safe to say that one never knows what will happen when those two things are mixed.

  • Reply Rachele March 2, 2011 at 2:26 pm

    It’s a trainwreck in the making and really, we should all just look away. Who really wants to watch this? His comments are pretty funny and audio of them alone would be fine.

    • Reply redheadranting March 3, 2011 at 12:07 am

      We should look away but I know I can’t. I’m getting weary of it, it is cutting into my personal life now, but it is still so much…entertainment. Soon enough it will be over and we will be hoping for the next freak show to come along. And there will be one coming along.

  • Reply Margaret (nannygoats) March 2, 2011 at 3:04 pm

    You know everything he said so far has rolled off like water on a duck’s back, but this….this slight against Thomas Jefferson? This has gone too far. You don’t dis my man Tommy J.

    • Reply redheadranting March 3, 2011 at 12:00 am

      That one pissed me off too. It was all fun and games until he bashed a founding father who in my opinion was much more “Winning!” than Sheen will ever be.
      OMG I can’t believe I just wrote a sentence with both Charlie Sheen and Thomas Jefferson in it!

      • Reply cardiogirl March 4, 2011 at 11:41 am

        I don’t know. TJ definitely did not have Adonis DNA. He may have had Steven Hawking DNA (just the super smart parts), but not Adonis DNA.

  • Reply Jenn of Many Cabbages March 2, 2011 at 3:07 pm

    It really does keep giving, Jen. I hadn’t noticed until you pointed it out the profusion of 80s slang. But I guess he doesn’t need to progress with time. He IS Time. And Space. And, um, All Things Charlie Sheen.

    • Reply redheadranting March 3, 2011 at 12:06 am

      Considering the 80s were when he was at the top of his game it is no wonder he hangs on to them the way he does. Hell, I was at the top of my game in the 80s and those will always be great but even I don’t say Gnarly anymore.

  • Reply Anonymous March 2, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    You know I think Charlie thinks he’s still in the 80s. The decade…cause he’ll never reach that age.

  • Reply Shieldmaiden1196 March 2, 2011 at 3:22 pm

    I really would like a season of celebrity Survivor with all the crazy people. Cruise, Sheen, Spears, Randy Quaid….now THAT would be epic.

    • Reply redheadranting March 2, 2011 at 3:25 pm

      And Gary Busey and Whitney Houston. That Survivor would be EPIC!

  • Reply Travis Sloat March 2, 2011 at 3:46 pm

    I love this! All of his quotes indexed for easy reviewing! I need to do something in my speech class about this man.

  • Reply Jayne March 2, 2011 at 5:05 pm

    Not to be a buzzkill, but I don’t think I can laugh at this anymore. It’s now tipped over into a level of darkness that could have tragic consequences. I think today’s post on my blog will hopefully be my last word on Sheen. I do not want to be writing about his funeral.

    • Reply Rachele March 2, 2011 at 11:35 pm

      I totally agree, Jayne.

      • Reply Jayne March 2, 2011 at 11:45 pm

        I mean, I like laughing at this stuff as much as anyone, but it’s become such a media feeding frenzy and you can just smell the blood in the water. It’s kind of like looking at a guy on the roof of a building now and yelling “jump.”

    • Reply redheadranting March 2, 2011 at 11:58 pm

      I don’t think he is going anywhere. The more I see of this the more I am convinced there really is a plan. Maybe he has a reality show in the works and this is all PR.

      • Reply cardiogirl March 4, 2011 at 11:40 am

        I have to agree with Jen on this one. It is starting to seem like a carefully crafted PR plan.

  • Reply Linda R. March 2, 2011 at 8:20 pm

    If things are as bad as they are being made to appear, then I am sorry for him and his kids. These are outrageous things to say, and they will always be out there.

    • Reply redheadranting March 3, 2011 at 12:04 am

      I do feel bad for his kids and thankfully they have been removed from the house, though it seems their mother has some troubles of her own. I hope they all get cleaned up soon.

  • Reply meleahrebeccah March 2, 2011 at 11:23 pm

    I don’t think I will EVER get over the quote “I have tiger blood and Adonis DNA”.

    • Reply redheadranting March 3, 2011 at 12:03 am

      Me neither, it is pure gold and that he came up with it on the fly is to me rather impressive, in a really strange way.

  • Reply Jayne March 2, 2011 at 11:46 pm

    Is me or does Charlie Sheen look just like a young Demi Moore in that photo?

    • Reply redheadranting March 3, 2011 at 12:03 am

      A little, didn’t he date her or marry her in the 80s?

      • Reply Jayne March 3, 2011 at 12:17 am

        She dated either Charlie or Emilio. I think it was Emilio.

  • Reply Ferd March 3, 2011 at 3:29 am

    Wow, Jen, this thing is really alive!
    Good call on making Charlie the bloggers’ king from Mars!!

  • Reply Sandra March 3, 2011 at 4:39 am

    I seriously don’t know how he stands himself. He must fall to the ground and kiss his own feet…gah! And yet, I can’t turn away!

  • Reply Mikewj March 3, 2011 at 7:21 am

    You made me say epic in a post the other day. Somebody noticed and asked me if it your fault. It was. I feel kinda bad.

  • Reply Man Over Board March 3, 2011 at 3:59 pm

    I’m beginning to think Charlie Sheen has a slightly different definition of the word goddess than I do.

  • Reply Boom Boom Larew March 4, 2011 at 1:33 am

    If defeat is not an option, I’d strongly suggest that Charlie make some seriously radical changes in his life… Soon! That boy is going down!

  • Reply Absence/Alternatives March 8, 2011 at 7:25 am

    Yes yes! Someone said to me on Twitter that we should just start saying RADICAL!

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