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#NaBloPoMo Advice politics WTF?

How to Survive the Trumpocalypse

November 10, 2016
The upside to a Trump presidency

If you’re like most of the American population you’re wondering what the hell happened yesterday. You’re also probably wondering how to survive the Trumpocalypse without losing your mind, dignity, friends, etc. You may or may not be wondering how the media and pundits got it so wrong. And if you’re like many people you’re busy pointing fingers and demanding that those who voted for him unfriend you right now.

I get it. I’m stunned too. I really didn’t think this was even a remote possibility. Of course hindsight is 20/20 and it’s actually pretty obvious why it happened, but that’s a discussion for another time. However, it is not because half the country is stupid and racist.

Today is going to be a difficult day for a lot of people. I see grief and fear all over social media. So much fear and so much hate. Hate for the uneducated who voted this buffoon into office. It is what it is. President Elect Donald Trump won fair and square. He’s got four years to do what he said he was going to do and that includes unite this country. If we aren’t happy with the way things are four years from now, we vote home out of office. That’s just one of the things that makes this country a great place to live.

Healing will happen, but it will take some time, some introspection and some humility. In the mean time, we need to survive the post election apocalypse. When I wrote that piece I was sure Hillary Clinton would be the winner and that we’d be counting hanging chads for months, and just in case you missed it, I wrote it with tongue planted firmly in cheek.

I didn’t foresee this outcome, but surviving the Trumpocalypse isn’t that difficult.

How to Survive the Trumpocalypse

  1. Take a deep breath, or two or there – Hell, take a drink or a toke. Whatever you need to get through these next few days. It’s going to be rough while we sift through the wreckage. Do what you need to do to make yourself feel better because we’ve got some work to do going forward.
  2. Stop pointing fingers – This is how our system works. Everyone gets a shot. The government is not guaranteed to just the elites on the east and west coasts of our country.
  3. Stop scaring your kids – Seriously, stop it. The world is not going to end. There will be no concentration camps and women and blacks will not lose the right to vote. Gays will still have the right to marry and raise children and every other right they currently have as American citizens.
  4. Stop unfriending people – If you wonder how this could happen it might just be because we’ve refused to even entertain a different idea. This divisive society we’ve created is so incredibly toxic that our children need Safe Spaces in school. That’s insane. School used to be where we tried out all kinds of new ideas.
  5. Be your best – The government has never been able to legislate thoughts. Keep fighting for equality and opportunity. Keep helping your fellow man and woman. Be the change you wish to see. A Trump win doesn’t mean that you won’t be allowed to do all of the things you think are virtuous. Be good, be kind, be excellent.

 

#NaBloPoMo Blogging WTF?

Already Over this Manequinning Thing

November 8, 2016
already over this manequinning thing

Have you heard about #mannequinning? Apparently it’s the newest thing people do to annoy the other people (aside from talk politics on social media). #mannequinning is like planking except instead of working your abs you simply stop whatever you’re doing and hold the pose. We called it playing Statue when we were kids. My understanding is you do this in a group and hold the pose long enough to take a video of everyone not moving.

I just heard about this new craze sweeping the nation, this morning on my local news, KARE 11 did a bit about it and everyone struck a pose right before the weather.

An hour later, Al Roker is doing it and I am officially already over the mannequinning thing.

Ugh.

 

Blogging Books Dumb Shit I Do WTF?

What a Difference a Coat of Paint Makes!

October 17, 2016
What a difference a coat of paint makes

I painted my office this weekend and OMG — what a difference a coat of paint makes! I didn’t have plans to paint my office this weekend, but I’ve been listening to You Are a Badass this past week and it seemed like the thing to do.

Wondering how a coat of paint makes you a badass?

It doesn’t really, but when you hate your office, because you have slowly started hating what you do each day, you realize you need to make some changes to your day to day life.

My office was originally my bedroom, but when my daughter moved her bedroom upstairs (because she couldn’t move it downstairs – long story short, the contractor got paid and then never did the work, so the room isn’t up to code, so she can’t sleep down there), where my office had been, I moved my office into my bedroom and my bedroom into my daughter’s old bedroom.

Why musical rooms?

This house has like 5 grounded outlets. All the rest of the outlets are the two pronged type. Also, there was no outlet even remotely close to a window in my bedroom so I couldn’t use a window air conditioner. The daughter has a grounded outlet right by the window so it made more sense to make that my bedroom and my poorly outlet-ed bedroom my office.

Whew! Did you catch all that?

Old houses might be charming, but they suck when it comes to using modern day technology in them.

What a Difference a Coat of Paint Makes

When my daughter moved upstairs we painted that room and her old bedroom/my new bedroom, but after all that painting I didn’t want to paint anymore and just put all my office crap in the old bedroom.

I have a lot of crap.

Because I can shut the door, the room attracts even more crap.

Getting back to the book…

So I’m listening to You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero and she’s talking about being more positive and how to bring out the best in you and reaching your full potential all that other good stuff.

If you’ve read this blog for very long (or just look at the name of the blog) you can probably tell I don’t get into all that self help/feel good shit.

In fact, I bought the book a couple of years ago and it never quite made its way onto my cell phone to listen to on my walk.

And then it did and it was like the universe was trying to tell me something.

PAINT YOUR OFFICE

That’s what the book was saying, at that moment, to me.

So I did.

Actually, here’s how it went. I lost a couple of big gigs several months ago. This happens all the time and I can usually replace them pretty quickly. In fact I did, and then I lost that one too. Both times they wanted an in-house writer and I live a couple thousand miles from the office.

I dusted off my resume and started looking for a real job.

And it was cool because this time there is actually a real title for the job I do – social media manager – and I started applying like a mad woman.

I figured I’d have a completely new job in no time. Screw this freelancing stuff, I was going to have an actual job. I started day dreaming about it going into an office, decorating my cube and having real people to talk to during the day besides my dogs.

I even had a few interviews.

And then nothing happened. Oh, I got offered all kinds of jobs, just none of them had anything to do with social media management. I get offered a job at Farmer’s Insurance every other day. I also get offered a job to sell meat on the street.

Seriously —  Meat On The Street.

I hadn’t planned on getting depressed looking to replace one or two gigs, but here I was, the only jobs I could get was selling insurance (which I have already tried) and selling Meat On The Street.

I don’t even buy meat on the street because I am pretty sure that’s how you get e.coli, and I don’t want e.coli, and I certainly don’t want to be responsible for all the people who are willing to buy meat on the street for their e.coli.

So I started listening to self help books to at least make me think I was doing something productive.

Come to think about it, I don’t think it says anywhere in that book to paint your office. I might have just come up with that on my own. But it makes sense if you think about it – I hated my office because it was such a horrible shade of orange and it was so cluttered it was like working in a storage locker or something.

You Are A Badass talks about how you should have faith, be open to anything, and to go with the flow.

If you know me, I am not really a go with the flow kind of person. I like my routine, I like to know what to expect each day. And each day I was getting offered a job selling Meat On The Street.

Saturday morning I decided to go with the flow and paint my damn office. It took me two days, and pretty much all of seasons 1-3 of The Walking Dead, but I finished it last night and I am thrilled with the results.

Not only do I have a much nicer (and more calming) color of paint on my walls, but in the process was forced to get rid of a lot of the clutter.

Of course, most of the clutter is still on my dining room table, but that will give me something to do next weekend.

Which has got to be better then selling Meat On The Street.

 

 

 

Advice Dumb Shit I Do People politics Things that piss me off WTF?

OMG Stop Unfriending Each Other!!

October 12, 2016
Stop Unfriending Each Other!!

For the love of Pete, stop unfriending each other!! Every five minutes someone is challenging their Facebook friends and followers to unfriend them if they hold a different opinion about Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton.

If you support that lying, misogynistic, groping dumbass – well just unfriend me now“, or “If you think she actually supports women then you can just unfriend me right now, in fact, I’ll do it for you“, or “if you’re planning on voting for this douchebag, I want you to unfriend me” and on and on.

picard

Additionally, people keep posting how so much more qualified Hillary Clinton is compared to Donald Trump, as if that is even a consideration.

Let’s Break it Down

Let me first say — I don’t like either of them and I’m not supporting or defending either’s behavior — but here’s the thing:

It’s not about their qualifications or their experience.

You can argue it should be, and you would still be wrong.

It’s about their agenda and what path they want to lead this country on.

People aren’t supporting Donald Trump because they also want to grope women without permission, they are not supporting Trump because they are racists (though it is certain that some racists support Trump, just as some of them support Hillary Clinton), people support Trump because they don’t like the direction they think Hillary will take this country.

Conversely, Hillary’s supporters are not women haters and they are not necessarily liars (though, again, there are probably many people who support Hillary who lie), it isn’t that they are liars that make them want to support her. They support her because they like the campaign promises she is making and foolishly believe she might be able to keep them.

 

via SIZZLE

They’re Both Deplorable!

This is an interesting campaign because usually the candidate’s qualifications are pretty equal. At least they both, usually, have some experience in public office. Here that is not the case. Here we have a candidate who is probably more qualified than any candidate in history running against someone who has absolutely no political experience.

This is why many people can’t understand why anyone with a brain might vote for someone like Trump (among a whole bunch of other issues). It’s not even that they don’t like Hillary (even though so many people have some really intense negative feelings about her), it’s that they don’t like the policies she plans on putting forward.

It is precisely because they have different agendas (and different parties) that they can both be deplorable and people will still vote for them. Their actions don’t matter. It’s disgusting, but it’s the truth.

Here’s an excellent article about why people will vote for Trump.

Stop Unfriending Each Other!!

Telling someone to unfriend you because you don’t agree with them on one subject is incredibly arrogant. Do you really think you have that much clout that you can wave your Facebook friendship in front of them and believe it will motivate them to change their deeply held beliefs? Are you that self absorbed? Are we still in middle school?

God, it’s like Facebook has turned into Mean Girls. Do this or you are out of the club!

Unfriending someone because they don’t like Hillary or because they plan on voting for Trump is a waste of time, though it will cull your friends to a more homogenous list. And I suppose that’s always more fun – to have friends who think the exact same way that you do.

How Did We Survive? Kids WTF?

Clowns Banned from Halloween

October 6, 2016
clowns banned from Halloween

Let me get this straight, clowns banned from halloween because they creep people out too much?!?!?! Apparently out east clowns have been banned from Halloween because of all the recent creepy clown sightings this summer and fall. Mind you, no one has been hurt by these creepy clowns, but they freak people out enough that the powers that be in Connecticut have prohibited children from dressing up as clowns in all 48 New Haven schools.

Clowns Banned from Halloween

“Unfortunately, clown-themed posturing has been a growing trend throughout the country, particularly on social media,” said the New Haven school district, which enrolls 21,500 students, in a statement on Tuesday.

Clowns are scary, therefore we can’t dress up as clowns for Halloween.

Ummm….

Isn’t that the point of Halloween? To dress up as something scary?

Again, with all of the recent creepy clown sightings in the last few months, all have been hoaxes.

Why the hell is everyone freaking out? People in my generation have been terrified of clowns since the stories of John Wayne Gacy were whispered at every campfire and slumber party. Clowns are creepy as fuck, and that’s why they’re so fun to dress as for Halloween.

Even Stephen King said people are overreacting. Stephen King, the author who gave us Pennywise, the creepy clown from his novel IT.

“Hey, guys, time to cool the clown hysteria,” King tweeted on Monday, “most of em are good, cheer up the kiddies, make people laugh.”

Having clowns banned from Halloween is like banning candy from Halloween or banning the movie Elf pretty much any time of the year because it is always on somewhere.

What good will banning clowns from Halloween do anyway? If perverts really are dressing up as clowns in order to entice kids to come with them (clearly they never got the memo that clowns are creepy and most kids would run from them anyway) what’s to stop them from dressing up as Darth Vadar, Captain America, a Transformer or even Elsa from Frozen?

I think the people out east have underestimated perverts.

Apparently clown masks sales are up 300% since last year. So even though clowns have been banned from Halloween, at least out east, expect to see them all over the place on Halloween night. You may even see a couple of them through November 8th.

Advice People politics WTF?

Hillary Clinton is Not a Badass

September 12, 2016
EKG

Since it was divulged that Hillary Clinton has pneumonia, social media has lit up with memes about Hillary Clinton’s super human stamina. Hillary Clinton is not a badass, Hillary Clinton is just like every other woman on this planet who ignores her own health. And it’s a stupid thing to do.

This isn’t a political post, I don’t care for Hillary Clinton’s policies or much of her character, but this isn’t about Hillary the politician, this is about Hillary the woman, wife, mother, grandmother, friend and colleague.

Hillary Clinton is Not a Badass

I get that she is campaigning for the toughest job in the world, I also get that she is between a rock in a hard place when it comes to fessing up about her health. Donald Trump has been making an issue of her nagging cough for months and months. Prior to yesterday, I just thought it was more campaign rhetoric. She’s yelling each and every day, of course her voice is going to be horse and it’s not a stretch that she would have a cough. Flying around in a jet with its canned air isn’t doing her throat any favors either, I am sure.

I get it.

But she missed an opportunity here. Most women I know push past the pain so we can take care of the kids, the husband/wife, the parents, the job. Most women I know need a push to schedule that mammogram, appointment with the endocrinologist or the cardiologist. This past week my Facebook feed had too many to count stories of women who ended up in the ER with symptoms not unlike Hillary Clinton’s this past weekend. Overheating, dehydration, racing heartbeat (that’s the one that usually, finally gets our attention. And it should since heart disease is the leading cause of death for women), dizziness and confusion. Could be a heart attack, could be anxiety, could even be pneumonia. We won’t know unless we see a doctor. And we won’t get better if we don’t follow their advice.

Hillary was diagnosed with a pneumonia on Friday when her physician, Dr. Lisa R. Bardack, examined her. I assume an X-ray was performed.

“Secretary Clinton has been experiencing a cough related to allergies. On Friday, during follow-up evaluation of her prolonged cough, she was diagnosed with pneumonia. She was put on antibiotics, and advised to rest and modify her schedule. While at this morning’s event, she became overheated and dehydrated. I have just examined her and she is now rehydrated and recovering nicely,” Bardack said.

When diagnosed with pneumonia Hillary should have canceled her scheduled events for at the very least the next few days. Would social media have exploded because she didn’t attend the 9/11 memorial? Yes. But instead of pushing through the illness, like most of us do, she could have taken this opportunity to address this really bad practice among Americans. We take our health for granted and it shouldn’t take tripping into the Scooby Van to help us come to our senses.

Ignoring your health is not badass. Whether you are a mother who ignores her health because she feels as if no one else will step up in her stead or you are the President of the United States (or campaigning for that job). Being badass means you know when to say when and are thick skinned enough to let the insults roll off your back about it (something she has done rather well so far). Being badass means putting on your oxygen mask before putting it on those around you.

Events Minnesota politics Things that piss me off WTF?

Summer in Minnesota 2016: We Lost Prince and Found Jacob

September 5, 2016
We Lost Prince and Found Jacob

They say this decade, the 2010s, has been pretty crappy for those who came of age during the 80s, we’ve lost so many of our icons. If that’s true, then this summer has truly epitomized that sentiment, especially for Minnesotans.

This Summer We Lost Prince and Found Jacob

Summer 2016 has been a roller coaster ride. While not officially summer, it was warm (and that’s close enough for those of us who spend 6 months of the year shoveling snow and enduring temperatures below freezing) when we learned that Prince had died of an opioid overdose, alone, at Paisley Park. It was a horribly senseless and tragic death. Wasteful. So much talent wasted due to addiction. That he was trying to get help when it happened made it even more tragic. We mourned, with the rest of the nation, for all the gifts he gave us. We sang and we danced, and we grieved.

(from Wikipedia)

(from Wikipedia)

Many superstars have passed during my lifetime, some of the biggest in recent memory including Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson, but none seemed to sting as badly as the loss of Prince. While the rest of the nation, and world for that matter, moved on, in Minnesota we continued to honor Prince with tribute concerts and celebrations. On August 26th, we celebrated Unite in Purple at the Minnesota State Fair, a night of music, dance and fireworks to celebrate the life of a legend. A few days later The Revolution gathered one more time at First Avenue to pay tribute to Prince.

This summer our presidential election was in full swing. Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump raced to the bottom of the election. They have both lowered the bar to unimaginable depths. It’s a sad state of things when you have to choose the lesser of two evils, you’re still choosing evil. God help us come November.

Two days after we celebrated the birth of our nation Philando Castille was shot by a police officer during a traffic stop that was anything but routine. The aftermath was posted live on Facebook by his girlfriend, Diamond Reynolds, as her daughter tried to comfort her from the back seat. Protests, mostly peaceful, led the news this summer. Traffic was shut down on I-94 and in front of the Governor’s residence on Summit Avenue as people tried to change the world.

justice for Philando

(Jennifer Brown)

Ironically, it was a video game that got all of us outside this summer. Pokémon Go got the kids, and adults out from in front of their computer screens and into the streets looking for digital monsters. It has been decades since neighborhoods had been filled with kids outside playing. It was wonderful, and poignant.

Labor Day weekend we learned that Jacob had been found. Jacob Wetterling had gone missing 27 years ago.  A parent’s worst nightmare, he was abducted at gun point while riding bikes with his brother and a friend October 22nd, 1989. Jacob was one of the reasons kids didn’t play outside anymore. If a kid could go missing in America’s heartland, no place was safe. We kept our kids close.

We’d gotten our hopes up many times in the last 27 years, so many of us were skeptical that he had really been found. Sadly, within hours his mother, Patty Wetterling, confirmed what we had feared all these years.

(National Center for Missing and Exploited Children)

(National Center for Missing and Exploited Children)

“Our hearts are broken, we have no words.”

There’s a chill in the air, winter is coming.

Advice Minnesota People politics WTF?

What’s Happening to Our Nation?

July 8, 2016
If you're like me, you're probably wondering what's happening to our nation? Yesterday, following the killing of Philando Castile, I was moved to go to the protest at the Governor's mansion in St. Paul.

If you’re like me, you’re probably wondering what’s happening to our nation? Yesterday, following the killing of Philando Castile, I was moved to go to the protest at the Governor’s mansion in St. Paul. I’ve wanted to write about this issue for a long time, but have never known what to say. Witnessing the peaceful protest at the Governor’s mansion didn’t help me much. For the last two days, the internet has erupted with outrage over yet another (and another) black life cut short by a cop. And rightfully so. I’ve wanted to write about this, but I’ve been afraid to. I won’t bother addressing those fears here, they’re not irrelevant, but they don’t move the conversation forward. I probably wouldn’t have written about the protest for Philando if it hadn’t been for the events that followed later in Dallas.

What’s Happening to Our Nation?

Following the killing of  Philando Castile, which immediately followed the killing of Alton Sterling, social media lit up with all kinds of angry pronouncements about how white people can “help”. Helpful memes were created to unintentionally enflame race relations. White people proudly displayed their “white privilege” guilt as if it were a badge of honor. White people, some of us, became woke. Instead of simply coming together to mourn the lost lives, the injustice and the loss of what was left of our innocence, white people seem to be trying to gain the most points by proclaiming their privileged guilt. But there are no solutions in that.

I hate the term “white privilege”, mostly because I don’t believe the word privilege is an accurate description of the idea that is being put forth. I get it, I get the meaning of the phrase and I wholeheartedly agree it is a real thing. I also hate the term because it immediately shuts down any meaningful discussion about the problems we face. If we can’t discuss the issues, we certainly can’t solve them.

Think Differently?

We used to be able to hold differing opinions. Now, we must all be in agreement. If not, the internet reaction is swift and mighty. Don’t agree with me? Then you must be a racist.

As a white, middle aged, woman I never worry about being pulled over in my little SUV crossover while rocking out to the softer sides of the 80s. Even when I go above the speed limit by 5 or 6 mph, I know the odds are good I will not get pulled over. Broken taillight? I’ve never been pulled over for one, though I have had many. I don’t worry about being followed in department stores because the clerk is worried I will shoplift. And I certainly never worry about being shot dead by a police officer.

But privilege to me, has always meant something that was earned and that could be also taken away. I did not earn my whiteness and I cannot remove it. In these times, because I really do want to help make things better, my whiteness has become a burden. And yet, there are still so many things I take for granted because I am white.

I understand that.

Hands are Tied

I keep starting each paragraph with a story that exemplifies what I am trying to convey. And then I remember, sharing those stories is another way not to help. The thing is, it is a way to connect. And we need to connect more with one another if we want to change the way things currently are. I’ve been told over and over what not to do, as a white person, these past few days. I want to help be the change, I want things to be better for everyone in this great country of ours, I want equality for all. And yet I know that simply wanting something to happen rarely makes it happen. Action must be taken.

Philando Castile Protest

Privilege

The reason I was not compelled to write about my visit to the Governor’s Mansion was because I saw privilege at that protest. Not white privilege, but American privilege. There were a few hundred people at the protest. People of all color, age, gender, sexuality, and political persuasion. People were there with their children and their pets. Neighbors welcomed the protestors into their neighborhood with tables of bottled water, granola bars and even opened the doors of their churches for people to use the bathroom and get out of the heat. The police were there in large numbers. They were protecting the proetestors’ right to assert their first amendment rights even if the words they were speaking were against the police officers. There was no fear at this protest. People were calm, they were not worried that someone might start shooting at the crowd.

Philando Castile Protest

A similar protest took place in Dallas later that evening. It too was a peaceful protest, until it wasn’t. Someone did the unimaginable and started picking off cop after cop. 5 dead, 6 wounded at last count. And the cops continued to protect those that were protesting while getting shot.

Be the Change You Wish To See in the World

Frustrated, I don’t know how to change things. I do know I have no control over a cop and how he handles himself. I also have no control over a shooter who wants to kill as many cops as he can before he gets shot dead. I only have control over the way I react to these things.

Even though I don’t know how to change the nation, I still want to try. I do know that it starts with community, something that has changed so drastically in the last couple of decades. And I’m not even sure we can put that genie back in the bottle. But, I know this – spewing rhetoric on social media is not “community”. Sure, we may be surrounded by like minded people, but those aren’t the people who live on our block.

Unplug to Reconnect

I’m going to spend less time online in the coming months. That isolation and anonymity doesn’t do anyone any good. I want to have these important conversations, but I want to do so with people in real life. I want to discuss these issues with members of my community instead of on some Facebook thread of someone who lives three states away. I know I can’t solve this problem on my own, and I know I won’t change the world, but I can make a difference in my own community if I get out and get to know my neighbors.

We fear what we don’t know, so let’s get out there and get to know each other so we stop fearing each other.

What We Can Do

National Night Out is next month. If you haven’t already, start planning a block party.

Unplug from the internet. Get out and get to know your neighbors.

When online, don’t read the comments.

Think before you react or leave a comment.

Be kind.

Treat others the way you would like them to treat you.

 

 

The Walking Dead Things I Really Like Things that piss me off WTF?

The Walking Dead Cliffhanger Sucked and Damn, Negan is Hot! SPOILERS

April 4, 2016
The Walking Dead Season Six Finale

This is about The Walking Dead Cliffhanger that sucked so there are lots and lots of SPOILERS.

If you haven’t seen the Season 6 Finale of The Walking Dead, you really aren’t missing anything. Most of the 90 minutes episode was Rick and his gang driving all over the backroads of Virginia trying to get Maggie to the Hilltop for medical treatment.

There were a ton of commercials, too.

This was one of the stupidest episodes of The Walking Dead so that they turned it into a cliffhanger is really no surprised. They basically painted themselves into a corner and now they have 7 months to figure out how they’re going to get out of it.

Episode Last Day on Earth Recap

Maggie is cramping and they are worried she is going to lose the baby so they take her to see the doctor at the Hilltop community. Of course Rick knows the Saviors are probably going to come for a fight so what does he do? He piles all the key characters into the Winnebago and hits the road. This is with the full knowledge that his best fighters are out looking for Daryl, and Morgan is out looking for Carol. Rick is not aware that Daryl, Rosita, Michonne, and Glenn have been captured by Dwight and that Daryl has been shot by Dwight.

So by all means take your best warriors, the pregnant woman, the kid with one eye and the coward of the county on a joyride through the woods when you know the baddest motherfucker is out there waiting for you and your people because you’ve slaughtered two groups of their people already.

Negan is Hot

They could have delivered the last 20 minutes of the show and it wouldn’t have taken anything away from it. Negan, played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan, is a long winded villain. He goes on and on about how he has to kill one of the Alexandrians. He over explains himself but appears to be scaring the crap out of Rick who really does look like he might wet his pants. If he weren’t so hot I’d have been upset about his long winded speech.

Did I mention Negan is hot?

In the final minutes of the show Negan makes his choice and splatters the brains of one of our people all over the camera lens. We just don’t know who it is. In the final scene the camera takes the point of view of the charactered who is killed and it looks like whoever it is can see Abraham in his view, as if he is sitting across from him. I’ve tried to find the scene online but it’s been cut out of the ones I’ve found.

Based on who was sitting where it could be Eugene, Glenn, Daryl or Michonne (I think). I have no idea who it was but whoever it was that was killed by Negan last night, its impact will be completely diluted after waiting 7 months to find out.

I’m actually hoping it isn’t Eugene since he seems to be about the only one who has any brains in the group, though clearly not enough to stop anyone from piling into the RV and meeting their fate head on.

Do you Care?

It’s a good thing they chose Jeffrey Dean Morgan to play Negan because really, he was the only thing worth watching last night. In The Talking Dead Scott Gimple gushed about what a great episode it was and how it set up season 7 so well. Maybe, but the death that he says the season is built upon has lost any impact it might have had. This season may or may not have been about screwing with the audience, but the storytelling is lacking.

That said, I thought it was a great season and maybe they just overhyped this episode and there was simply no way to live up to it. Still, either hubris or just plain stupidity seems to have done in one of the main characters.

Oh, and Morgan finally killed someone.

Who do you think Negan killed with his baseball bat last night? Do you care who he killed? Will you keep watching the show?

Huh Music People Reviews WTF?

Beyoncé and Red Lobster

February 9, 2016
Red Lobster Beyonce Formation

Evidently, Beyoncé has single handedly* increased sales at Red Lobster because of her new song Formation. Apparently, when he fuck her good, she takes his ass to Red Lobster.

No shit, those are the lyrics to her newest song (anthem, really) that she performed (I think) during the Super Bowl half time show this past weekend.

I’m not really sure if she performed it because the audio was so horrible and it was difficult to hear any of the musicians sing. It didn’t help that I was worried about Chris Martin’s back injury – talk about the show must go on! The man couldn’t stand up and yet there he was out there shouting or mumbling or whatever the heck he was doing while Beyoncé and Bruno Mars funked it up.

According to all news sources today, Red Lobster’s sales have increased 33% since the song Formation was dropped this past weekend due to these lyrics –

When he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster, cause I slay

Look, I’m no relationship expert, I’ve been divorced twice, but if the fucking is good I should think one might want to reward the person doing the good fucking by bringing him to a restaurant that was actually pretty good. It doesn’t have to be Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse or McCormick and Schmick’s, but maybe Ruby Tuesdays or Outback Steakhouse? Hell, most of the guys I might reward with food after performing well would prefer Chipotle over Red Lobster.

I’m not sure what she means by “slay” either. According to the dictionary it means to kill someone or to impress someone. According to the Urban Dictionary it means – mercilessly fuck, or to do something awesomely well.

I think we can assume its usage is not in reference to mercilessly fucking anyone since it was he who fuck(ed) her good.

Let’s see if we can get some context from the next set of lyrics.

After she takes him out to get some shoes…

I might get your song played on the radio station, cause I slay
I just might be a black Bill Gates in the making, cause I slay

I’m going to make a leap and suggest she’s using “slay” in the do something awesomely well definition.

So I repeat, if she is doing so well, and I think we can all agree that Beyoncé is doing pretty well for herself, why not take her bae to a really nice place?

According to the internet, this song was also about all kinds of black empowerment, woman empowerment and other empowerments – It just went completely over my head during the Super Bowl. I am not the only one. Many people, mostly white, middle aged women who want to know what all the fuss is about, are asking on social media. So far has been construed as racism, because ….America.

I just thought she was channeling Janet Jackson and Rhythm Nation.

It’s not racism, most of the people who are questioning this song at all simply didn’t understand the lyrics (because they don’t make much sense at all – Red Lobster for good sex?!?!?!?!), or because they couldn’t understand the lyrics (slay).

It might just be generational rather than racism, but you can decide for yourself, here’s the original video with NSFW lyrics, the video gives it better context than the Super Bowl performance.

(*or maybe not, it could be Lobsterfest)

Things that piss me off WTF?

Perimenopause Is So Much Fun!!!

January 14, 2016
Fremont Troll, Menopause, Perimenopause

When I was about 9 or 10 there was this book called What’s Happening to Me?, it was one of those books about puberty. It was an iconic book. An x rated comic book about boobs, penises and pubic hair. Everyone had a friend who had one of these books and we all took turns paging through it and giggling at all the silly drawings of plump, bumpy and fairly hairy preteens as they make their way through puberty. It answered all the questions no one wanted to ask their parents and that the gym teacher was to terrified to address in a co-ed class.

When I was pregnant, there was a book called What to Expect When You’re Expecting. It’s still a New York Times Best Seller, probably in it’s 30th printing. It too, was a book about getting through a terrifying part of life, explained with drawings of things many of us (mostly my husband) wasn’t ready to see in a book or in real life. It went week by week and laid bare exactly what to expect when pregnant and right bloody after.

There was a follow up book about what to expect with an infant and toddler but I was too busy and too tired to read it.

Why isn’t there a cute book with adorably drawn women as they manage their way through mood swings, hot flashes and irregular periods?

I’m almost fifty years old, I have access to the internet and have been Googling what to expect from menopause for a while now. I have asked women who I assume have gone through the change only to tell me that it was a breeze or that it hasn’t happened. I asked Facebook about hot flashes and what they felt like and no one could give me one, agreed upon answer. Everyone has such a different experience that I am not sure if I am suffering from hot flashes,  bad Chipotle or maybe a little flu.

The thing about menopause is that once you’re in menopause, all the excitement of mood swings, cravings, and hot flashes are over. It’s the getting there – the up to ten fucking years of mood swings, cravings, and hot flashes – that no one really talks about. We suffer in relative silence.

Today I was driving out to see my mother. That in itself is a bit of roller coaster emotionally but today I wasn’t expecting anything. She’s had a lot of trouble with her teeth in the last couple of months but we seemed to weather the dry socket and infection from the removal of 6 front teeth without too much drama. She’s been feeling pretty good even if her delusions are casting their short shadows again.

The drive to my mother’s nursing home is long, it’s at least half an hour. Plenty of time to think, rock out or listen to the news. Today I chose to listen to music.

I was singing along to the Go-Gos when a song came on that I used to play as I attempted to rock my son to sleep when he was colicky. Before the first chorus tears were streaming down my cheeks.

Why was I crying? Because the love between a mother and child is so pure, so amazing and so special, that of course I would get caught up in it.

Or, it was the fucking hormones.

I saw my mother, stopped at least three times on the way home to pee and then stopped at the grocery store to pick up chocolate and French bread. It it had been later in the day I would have picked up wine, too.

Yesterday, I waited at a stop sign for several minutes waiting for the light to change.

I don’t know how long this lasts, I just wish there was a cute, animated book with boobs, penises and grey pubes I could read with my friends and giggle over until wine squirted out of our noses.