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Are your carpets really clean?

June 6, 2012

Mine aren’t. I know they aren’t because when I walk into my house the smell of dog butt and dog feet slaps me in the nose. If you don’t have a dog you don’t these smells, cats don’t smell like this, they smell worse. If you have a dog you know exactly what these two smells are like. They aren’t necessarily bad, certainly not tear inducing like the cat smell, but they are distinctive and not in a good puppy smell kind of way.

I need to get my carpets cleaned. I usually do it myself, I rent a machine from the local hardware store and then drag it across my rugs until I run out solution. This doesn’t mean my carpets smell any better however they are now wet, too wet, and will need to take the next four days to dry out.

I need to hire a carpet cleaning service but I don’t have a clue which one to hire here in the midwest. I know I would like to hire a NYC carpet cleaning outfit but I don’t think they come out here.

Just look at these guys out in NYC…Not only do they offer to clean your carpets (and for surprisingly less than they do out here in the flyover states) but they also offer rug repair, duct cleaning and even leather cleaning!

Dang, I wish I lived in NYC.

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Giveaway!!! The Perry Files from Disney's Phineas and Ferb!!

June 1, 2012

PHINEAS AND FERB DVD PhotoSchool is almost out for the summer in Minnesota which means there are 104 days to get through before school starts again (yay!). We have one week to go but already have gotten into the groove by watching The Perry Files. For those of you who don’t know who Perry is he is the secret agent platypus belonging to Phineas and Ferb. If you don’t know who Phineas and Ferb are I really can’t help you. Just take my word for it that it is a cartoon worth watching with your kids.

Speaking of watching cartoons with your kids, don’t our kids have it great? We never had cartoons as interesting and clever as our kids do. Sure we had Rocky and Bullwinkle but those were only shown one day a week, the rest of the week we were stuck with Scooby Doo.

Anyway, Disney has been kind enough to give me a copy of the Perry Files to give to one of my readers. From now until June 5th you can tell me about your favorite cartoon in the comment section. It can be any cartoon from the past or one you watch now with your kids. Just tell me why you love it. Not only do you get the awesome DVD (which we’ve watched three times already since yesterday) but you get a bunch of great puzzles and prices inside…just like the cereal boxes when we were kids, but with better stuff!!

While Phineas and Ferb do it all to make every day the best day ever, evil lurks just around the corner! But there is hope for the unsuspecting citizens of Danville. Now, for the very first time, crack open the top- secret archives of O.W.C.A. (Organization Without a Cool Acronym) to expose… THE PERRY FILES!

Join Perry the Platypus–a.k.a. Agent P.–on his most exciting adventures as he thwarts his nemesis, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, at every turn. With groovy gadgets, mad skills and his trademark brown fedora, this semi- aquatic, egg-layin’ mammal of action is unstoppable! Experience the hilarious havoc as he defends the Tristate Area against Doof’s “inators,” battles rogue agent “Dennis the Bunny,” and much more. When it comes to secret agents, Perry’s not only the real deal, he’s real teal!

Leave your comment below to win this great Disney DVD. The winner will be announced next Tuesday!

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What's Happened To The Today Show?

May 30, 2012

I watch The Today Show every morning, it’s my little way to find out what is going on in the world without having to watch a full blown news station like CNN. Before my coffee I can’t handle real news but I can watch Matt and Anne do stories about Photoshop Fail or funny autocorrect. I’ve even seen them do a story about a man with a duckface but that was on his duck that followed him to work each morning.

I guess what I am saying is that The Today Show isn’t real news. Sure, they spend the first three minutes of the ‘newscast’ talking about overnight news but for the most part they run stories about cats stuck in trees and Justin Bieber. Way too many stories about Justin Bieber and really any celebrity. Three or four hours worth of celebrity news is what The Today Show has become. Not that there is anything wrong with that but isn’t there more going on in this world?

I don’t expect deep analysis but I am interested in more than Justin Bieber and Jessica Simpson. Sure, I was interested to see that she gained more weight than I did during pregnancy but in about two weeks she’s going to be on the show in a bikini showing off her 100 + lbs weight loss, and that will just irritate me.

I blame this on Meredith Viera leaving the show. When she was there there was a modicum of seriousness and yet all the hosts understood that what they did each morning wasn’t real news. They played the part but didn’t expect anyone to stay tuned in the event of a disaster. CNN is for disasters, The Today Show is for concerts on the plaza and birthday wishes to 100 year old people.

Have you noticed that to get mentioned by Willard Scott (who must be 100+ years himself) now you have to be well over 100 years old? Now all the old folks are at least 107 years old, all bake their own bread and drink whiskey at least once a week.

I turn off the program when it’s time for the birthday wishes to the old people, I can’t handle the way he talks down to those people. I’ve even told my kids if I ever get to be old enough to have my birthday mentioned on the Today Show by Willard Scott that I will disinherit them if they alert Mr. Scott of my advanced age.

I will still watch The Today Show because the TV in my bedroom doesn’t get any other channel but I will continue to be irritated with their stories about people and things that no one really cares about.

Wait – what if people really do care about this stuff? What if we do wait with baited breath for Jessica Simpson to gush about her baby or for updates on Justin Bieber?

That’s too horrible to imagine.

 

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Armpit Hair: For or Against or I have nothing else to write about at the moment

May 17, 2012

Mother’s Day is over, I hope everyone had a great one, and it was time to take down the post. However, I don’t really have much to put up in its place. I could tell you that I am getting close to having a real book written but since I don’t have a date I don’t want to say too much. I will say this, writing about your fucked up life is hard. Hell, writing is hard fucked up life or not. But revisiting all kinds of dark details can be very challenging. Dr. Drew would say that I had disconnected from my past (and he would be right) and that revisiting it is therapeutic.

I don’t know about that, though I do feel as if I have learned an awful lot from the process and put several issues to rest.

Anyway, spending each day in a very dark place leaves me with little to say here, at least that is humorous. So, I’ve found this interesting infographic for you to consider.

Personally, I’m all about shaving the arm pits. After going without for several months last winter because of the waxing thing I can say that I prefer to be shaved than unshaved. However, I prefer that the men leave their hair where it is. Shave the face if you have to but leave the rest.

What do you think?

by SodaHead. Browse more data visualizations.

 

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If I wanted America to fail by Ryan Houck

April 25, 2012

*I did not write this, I’m just sharing it

By Ryan Houck — If I wanted America to fail …

To follow, not lead; to suffer, not prosper; to despair, not dream — I’d start with energy.

I’d cut off America’s supply of cheap, abundant energy.  Of course, I couldn’t take it by force.  So, I’d make Americans feel guilty for using the energy that heats their homes, fuels their cars, runs their businesses, and powers their economy.

I’d make cheap energy expensive, so that expensive energy would seem cheap.

I would empower unelected bureaucrats to all-but-outlaw America’s most abundant sources of energy.  And after banning its use in America, I’d make it illegal for American companies to ship it overseas.

If I wanted America to fail …

I’d use our schools to teach one generation of Americans that our factories and our cars will cause a new Ice Age, and I’d muster a straight face so I could teach the next generation that they’re causing Global Warming.

And when it’s cold out, I’d call it Climate Change instead.

I’d imply that America’s cities and factories could run on wind power and wishes.  I’d teach children how to ignore the hypocrisy of condemning logging, mining and farming — while having roofs over their heads, heat in their homes and food on their tables.

I would never teach children that the free market is the only force in human history to uplift the poor, establish the middle class and create lasting prosperity. Instead, I’d demonize prosperity itself, so that they will not miss what they will never have.

If I wanted America to fail …

I would create countless new regulations and seldom cancel old ones. They would be so complicated that only bureaucrats, lawyers and lobbyists could understand them.  That way small businesses with big ideas wouldn’t stand a chance — and I would never have to worry about another Thomas Edison, Henry Ford or Steve Jobs.

I would ridicule as “Flat Earthers” those who urge us to lower energy costs by increasing supply.  And when the evangelists of commonsense try to remind people about the law of supply and demand, I’d enlist a sympathetic media to drown them out.

If I wanted America to fail …

I would empower unaccountable bureaucracies seated in a distant capitol to bully Americans out of their dreams and their property rights.  I’d send federal agents to raid guitar factories for using the wrong kind of wood; I’d force homeowners to tear down the homes they built on their own land.

I’d make it almost impossible for farmers to farm, miners to mine, loggers to log, and builders to build.  And because I don’t believe in free markets, I’d invent false ones.  I’d devise fictitious products — like carbon credits — and trade them in imaginary markets.  I’d convince people that this would create jobs and be good for the economy.

If I wanted America to fail …

For every concern, I’d invent a crisis; and for every crisis, I’d invent the cause.

Like shutting down entire industries and killing tens of thousands of jobs in the name of saving spotted owls.  When everyone learned the stunning irony that the owls were victims of their larger cousins — and not people — it would already be decades too late.

If I wanted America to fail …

I’d make it easier to stop commerce than start it — easier to kill jobs than create them — more fashionable to resent success than to seek it.  When industries seek to create jobs, I’d file lawsuits to stop them.  And then I’d make taxpayers pay for my lawyers.

If I wanted America to fail …

I would transform the environmental agenda from a document of conservation to an economic suicide pact.  I would concede entire industries to our economic rivals by imposing regulations that cost trillions.

I would celebrate those who preach environmental austerity in public while indulging a lavish lifestyle in private.  I’d convince Americans that Europe has it right, and America has it wrong.

If I wanted America to fail …

I would prey on the goodness and decency of ordinary Americans.  I would only need to convince them … that all of this is for the greater good.

If I wanted America to fail, I suppose I wouldn’t change a thing.

Ryan Houck is the executive director of FreeMarketAmerica.org, a project of Americans for Limited Government. His column was inspired by Paul Harvey’s “If I were the Devil” published in 1964 and 1996.

Read more at NetRightDaily.com: http://netrightdaily.com/2012/04/if-i-wanted-america-to-fail/#ixzz1t3y1TDx0

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Free Event at the Mall of America: See Free Screening of Pirates! Band of Misfits

April 13, 2012

Pirate! Band of Misfits movie logo, If you’re looking for free things to do in Minnesota this April then look no further!  The Mall of America in Bloomington, MN is hosting a free advanced screening of Pirates! Band of Misfits.

To get up to four free tickets visit: www.gofobo.com/RSVP and enter the code: 2AJT8CL5

You will have to create an account if you haven’t got one yet.

The advanced screening is at:

Theatres at Mall of America

Monday, April 23

7:00pm

The code stops working once all the passes have been redeemed (It’s valid for 40 passes – each person can download up to 4 – so roughly 10 people admit 4). Advanced screenings are first come, first served and overbooked to ensure a full house. No electronics allowed. (This info is also printed on the passes).

So hurry up and get your four free passes to this fun new movie by the creators of Chicken Run.

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More than you ever needed to know about Champagne

March 28, 2012

I love wine. I fell in love with it when I visited Italy in the late 80’s. In fact I was given the nick name Vino because of my love of wine.

I’ll drink other adult beverages like beer and spirits, but I really prefer wine because it seems so civilized. Wine has gotten a reputation for being healthy in the last decade or so and whether true or not I’m going to follow my doctor’s order and continue drinking it.

This infographic gives a visual history of champagne, which is really just fizzy wine made in France. Champagne is the main (and best) ingredient in Mimosas as well as an easy choice during the holidays.

Champagne infographic

Brought To By Wine.com, Purveyors of Fine Wine and Champagne

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And the winner is….

March 9, 2012

The winner of the Straight North gift card is Cardiogirl. Congratulations Cardiogirl!

Straight North is a Chicago marketing company for B2B firms.

Thanks to everyone for entering and for waiting for an extra day to learn of the winner. Thanks also to Jayne from In Jayne’s World (who has an awesome book out) for reminding me that I need to announce the winner.

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Gray Must Be The Default

February 10, 2012

I have a gray car and so does everyone else. I can’t tell you how many times I have stood in a parking ramp unable to find my vehicle without pressing the key fob to make the lights flicker to give me a hint.

On two occasions I have gotten into someone else’s car because they both looked like mine. It was only upon seeing the Mexican blanket in the front passenger seat that gave one of the cars up and the other smelled of smoke so I was tipped off before I got too comfortable.

Because I have a grey car I don’t have to wash my car as much and I am less likely to be pulled over. Want to know what color car will get you ticketed?

It’s an interesting theory that a red car gets you pulled over more often than other colors. Alternatively, many people think having a white vehicle lets you get away with all kinds of traffic violations. As this article reports there is no studies that support the assumption that a red car gets you pulled over more often. The truth is if you speed or drive erratically you will probably get pulled over, regardless of what color your vehicle is.

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Stay at Home Mom

January 30, 2012

This guest post from Lewis Beck

When I decided to quit my job and stay at home with my new baby, my husband and I both knew we would have to make quite a few sacrifices. It is going to be completely worth it. First of all, we would barely have enough of my salary left over after paying for daycare that it made sense for me to work. Second of all, when it came time for me to go back to work and leave my baby I just found that I couldn’t do it. To be able to make this work, we’re both aware that we will have to really watch our budget. It is not going to be without its stress, but we know this is the right decision for our family. I’ve started doing things I never thought I would, like clipping coupons and scouring the internet for the best sales on diapers, for instance. One pretty awesome thing I discovered while trolling around on the internet is that because we live in Texas we have the ability to select our energy providers and can choose the provider that offers the cheapest rate. We have been able to save a ton of money this way, and it’s taken some of the pressure off. Check out Green Mountain Electric Information to see if you might be able to save some money as well.