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Redhead

Kids Redhead

The Kid Finally Makes it to the Wall

February 24, 2012

laughing redhead,redhead with freckles, child with red hair and freckles laughing, child laughing, little red haired girl laughing, cute redhead laughingBefore the internet and digital everything I took pictures, usually of my son, developed the images, enlarged the images, framed the images and then hung them on my walls. My living room and hallway is filled with great pictures of my son and his cousins when they were little.

Noticeably absent is the daughter

She isn’t on any of the walls or even in any framed pictures on furniture tops. The daughter is in the digital frame, online, in my phone and on the fridge but she hasn’t made it into a frame and hung on the wall.

redhead, redhead child, little redheaded girl, girl with red hair and freckles, cute red haired girl with freckles,redhead in pink shirt, sort red hair, girl with short red hair,

It’s not because she isn’t photogenic, she is, it’s just that I suck at hanging pictures. If you peer behind any of the frames hanging on my walls you will noticed numerous holes where picture hangers had been placed but then removed due to being just a little off center.

Measure once and cut twice…or something like that

I like to eyeball things. I don’t bother measuring because it’s an extra step and I have a really good eye for these kinds of things. Besides, the pictures are large so there is a lot of wiggle room, right?

Recently I took some really great pictures of my daughter and I think it’s time she made it to the wall. Problem is there isn’t much room left on the wall so I can only choose one image. Of the two on this page which would you blow up, frame and hang on the wall?

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Ex#1 Redhead

I Channeled Lucille Ball for my Wedding

April 17, 2011

Last night at the Tribal Blogs Slumber Party we got to talking about bad hair or drunk hairdressers or maybe it was just bad marriages. I’m not really sure because the conversation was going so quickly. Anyway, I mentioned that I looked like Lucille Ball at my first wedding and of course everyone wanted to see a picture.

So I posted this

redhead ranting, Minnesota blogger, wedding disasters, bad hair, don't let your hairdresser drink before he does your hair for your wedding

Because the conversation was going by so quickly and soon enough we were talking about Go-Girls again, I never got to explain why I looked like Lucille Ball for my wedding.

So I will now.

Don’t worry, it’s a short story.

It was a big wedding, since it was my first, and like most brides-to-be I was all about making everything picture perfect. Notice the flowers, aren’t they beautiful? The flowers were the only thing that worked out right at the wedding.

The cake was wrong, I got the wrong wine and never heard the end of it from my father, the dress ripped and of course the husband was completely wrong.

The hair should have gone right.

It didn’t because it was my wedding day that my hairdresser, who had been doing my hair forever, decided to get off the wagon. The bridesmaids and I had all met at my apartment the day of the wedding and had a mimosa. We weren’t pounding them, just one each. Not my hairdresser. He had one drink then another and then a few more by the time he got to my head. My hair was very long, which is why it is piled so much on my head. In order to not have it hanging down the only thing he could do was back comb it and then tightly curl it with a curling iron. I objected though apparently not enough because it was 15 minutes before we were supposed to leave for the church and there wasn’t enough time to fix it.

I spent those 15 minutes in my bathroom crying while my father tried to convince me, through his laughter I might add, that it looked fine. He also mentioned something about Lucille Ball being a beautiful woman at one point which only made me cry more… which made my mascara run.

I had to brace myself so I didn’t fall forward from the weight of all that hair in the front of my head.

The wedding itself went off without a hitch but the reception was overwhelming to me. I suspect I knew I had made a mistake and if I didn’t I surely did when my new husband dropped a ball and chain onto the wedding party table as we were making toasts. I kept my mouth shut, made a toast or two and then headed to the bathroom to take off my pantyhose and shoes which were killing me, if my hair hadn’t thrown me so I would have thought to grab a pair of jeans so I could change into something comfortable, but I wasn’t thinking. I then went down to the pool house where all the wait staff were getting high and hung out with them for the rest of the evening. Interestingly, ten years later I married one of the waiter’s best friend, though he did not introduce us.

So, what wedding disaster stories do you have to share?

 

 

 

 

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Blogging Redhead

Are Redheads Better in Bed?

May 5, 2009
redhead with a gun, redhead woman pointing a gun

“Are redheads better in bed?”

That is just one of the many redheaded themed questions people ask to find me on Google. I’ve never addressed the question before but since so many people are wondering I will answer it for you.

Yes. We rock in bed. Never, ever, underestimate the power of novelty.

Blonds are usually not really blonds so are a bit shy about revealing that fact. Most likely the lights have to be out. Brunettes are more likely to have the lights on but will probably hide under the covers so all that dark arm hair doesn’t show. They probably are less likely to kiss much since they have a little stubble or burn on their top lips. Redheads are usually, finally, proud of their hair color and want to show it to whomever wants to see it. After spending a childhood getting teased they not only have a sense of humor but of humility as well. They are less likely to point out your shortcomings.

I’ve actually never slept with a redhead. Most guys I know who have red hair remind me of Opie Taylor/Ritchie Cunningham or Carrot Top, neither of whom are that appealing to me but I can’t speak for everyone. I suspect they are probably better in bed than most guys because they have to overcome the hair and keep ’em coming back. In order to do that a guy has to learn a few skills that some guys don’t think are necessary. I have heard that redheaded guys are hung like horses however. God’s little gift for making them look like Howdy Doody I guess.

Another question posed to the Google is:

“Why are redheads so fucking crazy?”

That’s an excellent question and one I feel I can answer for all of us. Early on redheaded children get picked out for any transgressions. If a handful of kids play ding-dong-ditch and are running down the block when the homeowner answers the door in his bathrobe, the only kid he is going to be able to identify is the redhead. Kids all look the same when they are little so it is the redhead who gets the call to his or her parents from the old man who yells at kids to get off the grass. After a while the kid either grows into his or her reputation of being a trouble maker or stays inside when all the fun is happening.

Getting teased throughout middle school doesn’t help maintain one’s sanity either. Try going through the hardest years of your life being called carrot top and when a few years older fire crotch. It isn’t fun.

Imagine having strangers come up to you, where ever you go, and ask if that is your real hair color. It gets really old after a while. For years I would point out that my eyebrows are red and that I had no roots that were a different color. That usually shut them up but it was annoying still. One night, when I was out with friends at a bar, I had enough beer in me to answer the question in a way that indeed made people ask if I was crazy, I unzipped my pants and showed the blond who didn’t believe that red was indeed my real hair color. She wasn’t asking in a nice way if my hair color was my own. She asked in a snarky way, loudly, to her very attractive boyfriend. She stomped off and he gave me his phone number. It was well worth the hangover I had the next day.

Redheads are also smarter but I have yet to have a query for that.

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