Blogher Envy

August 4, 2010
Image representing BlogHer as depicted in Crun...
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I’m not packing, I’m not desperately writing a few posts to auto-post while I am gone. I’m not excited.

Because I’m not going to Blogher like every other blogger I know.

I could go to Blogher 2010 but I have better things to do. I have to figure out how to get more than 7 readers in my Feedburner chicklet. I have to referee all the stupid fights the neighborhood girls are having while at my house ( I am pleased to say I made all of them cry yesterday). I have to clean out underneath my refrigerator thanks to the guilt I am feeling after reading what was underneath Cardiogirl’s oven, and how long it had been since she swept that leg. I have to read all of the emails from the people going to Blogher telling me about the swag I am not getting but if I follow them on Twitter and use their hashtag #imaloserwhoisntgoingtoblogher I might have a CHANCE to win consolation swag. I have to bathe the cat.

I could have gone to Blogher but why? How much fun can it be to go to New York City, meet some really cool people whom you adore and respect because they write so damn well, and take pictures with the Jimmy Dean Sun?

It can’t be that much fun. This thing is way overblown.

I’m fine with the fact that I am not going to Blogher 2010. It gives me some alone time that is desperately needed.

Just remember ladies, while you are there hobnobbing with the likes of Dooce, Pioneer Woman, and The Bloggess, I’m back here in the blogosphere, writing my little fingers to the bone, visiting all the other losers who didn’t want to go either. They will be my readers I tell you, mine!

(maniacal laughter)

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No Comments

  • Reply Linda Medrano August 4, 2010 at 7:27 pm

    What blogher? Or who is it? Nobody ever tells me anything. And if they won’t lets goats in, why is Margaret going?

  • Reply Pricilla August 5, 2010 at 12:14 am

    I am boycotting BlogHer until they let in goats.
    So there.

    • Reply redheadranting August 5, 2010 at 1:18 pm

      Seems to me the let in cats. I don't see why goats can't go if cats can go.

  • Reply MsDarkstar August 5, 2010 at 12:21 am

    I could have gone to BlogHer 2010 except that, I have my tens of readers to think about who would be so sad and dejected if I left or, heaven forbid, had guest bloggers or auto-posts that the blogosphere suicide rate would have skyrocketed and I didn't want that on my conscience.

    *ahem* Also, I'm with Priscilla… if goats can't go, I'm boycotting.

    • Reply redheadranting August 5, 2010 at 1:19 pm

      You are a noble woman MsDarkstar, I seriously doubt an of the people going to Blogher are too concerned about that so kudos to you for taking one for the blogosphere!

  • Reply Jayne August 5, 2010 at 12:27 am

    I could have gone except I don't fly. They'll have to come to me. Plus, I would be completely overwhelmed by the crowds and noise. I'm a simple country girl, you know. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Reply redheadranting August 6, 2010 at 4:27 am

      Yeah, me too. But I could fake it for one weekend. I've never been to NY and this would be way cool. Why don't you fly? I thought you were fearless?

      • Reply Jayne August 6, 2010 at 5:42 pm

        Did you never read my post “The Reluctant Traveler”?

        • Reply redheadranting August 6, 2010 at 5:51 pm

          I had seen it because I commented on it. Thank you for reminding me of it
          because I saw Mike's comment about my ass and I needed to reprimand him,
          again. Sorry if I had forgotten about your fear of flying, I read a lot of
          posts in the last couple of months and don't always remember them. I'll make
          a mental note about your flying issues.

  • Reply Comedy Plus August 5, 2010 at 12:48 am

    I'm sorry you aren't going. Why don't you come on the bloggers cruise in February? That would be fun too. All you need to know is on my sidebar.

    Have a terrific day. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply ezmomm August 5, 2010 at 1:03 am

    I'm not going because I'm not that good ๐Ÿ™‚ No, seriously not going because I have a JOB and 3 KIDS and a spouse that whines when I even go grocery shopping. yep…that's why I CHOOSE not to go. So there….

  • Reply holly August 5, 2010 at 1:32 am

    Yeah, it's going to be lame! I'm not jealous at all, nope, NONE!

  • Reply Lolasdiner August 5, 2010 at 1:34 am

    Kudos to you for making those girls cry! You rock!

    I'm not going to Blogher because I'm baroke. If it was in Chicago, like last year, I'd find a way to go, but going to NY is just too expensive.

    • Reply cardiogirl August 5, 2010 at 8:11 am

      Hey, I'm three quarters baroke from my mother's side! And it is awesome making young girls cry. I can make at least two girls cry five days out of seven. On the other two days I can make three girls cry.

      Oh the powah! I always say, “It's not a party until someone's crying.” Consequently we have a lot of “parties” here at Casa de Cardiogirl.

  • Reply Margaret (nannygoats) August 5, 2010 at 2:51 am

    Well I'm going to BlogHer. In fact, I'm already here in NYC and if it's any consolation, so far this BlogHer thing sucks. Of course it hasn't started yet, so…

    • Reply redheadranting August 5, 2010 at 2:57 am

      Yeah, tell it to the hand sister, tell it to the hand.

      Um, don't forget to get my autograph of The Sun.

  • Reply Nicky August 5, 2010 at 3:08 am

    I heard they don't even have cheese in a can there. Bah! Besides, I'm holding out for the first Tribal Blogs conference (hint, hint) ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Reply redheadranting August 5, 2010 at 8:02 pm

      We're trying to put something together for this weekend.

  • Reply peedee August 5, 2010 at 3:31 am

    Yeah, I like you all, a lot. But I like my kid better. I'd rather save my money and go see her again in boring old Oklahoma. Ima dork. What can I say.

    And nice job Jen!! I likey the makey the little girls cry thing! >.<

  • Reply Mike August 5, 2010 at 7:16 am

    Well I'm not going to blogher either.

    Speaking of which, is there an equivalent blog conference thingy just for men? Or does it already exist and it's just called “Superbowl Weekend” or “Strip Club Night”?

    • Reply Mikewj August 5, 2010 at 6:20 pm

      Hey, Mike, I think you're on to something here. Call me.

      • Reply redheadranting August 6, 2010 at 4:26 am

        We're all going to meet up at Tribal Blogs. I don't know what we are going to do yet but we'll figure something out.

  • Reply cardiogirl August 5, 2010 at 8:17 am

    (psst) All the cool kids are staying home and soaking their feet in the kiddie pool in their backyards while swatting away mosquitoes. It's the Super Secret Blogger Club. None of the bloggers in NYC know, so keep the Secret.

  • Reply JunkDrawer August 5, 2010 at 10:04 am

    The swag is highly overrated and HEAVY. I think I left most of it in my hotel room last year.

    Truthfully? I'm with Nicky. I want a Tribal Blogs conference! I'm much more into smaller groups where I can really spend some quality time with bloggers I like and admire. BlogHer is overwhelming and you get swallowed up unless you're a social butterfly, which I am not. That's why I blog. Duh.

    • Reply redheadranting August 5, 2010 at 12:26 pm

      That is an awesome idea! Instead of the Saturday Night Slumber on Tribal
      Blogs we will include the men and have a nonblogher Tribal Blogs Virtual
      Conference. Just think of the money we save on airfare, hotel and clothing.

      • Reply Jaffer August 5, 2010 at 3:03 pm

        Click-a-boo ! I see you !
        A BlogHim would've been cool ! But a Tribal conference'd rule !

        • Reply redheadranting August 5, 2010 at 8:01 pm

          Where have you been? I've seen you all over the internet but I haven't seen you at Tribal Blogs yet, we miss you.

          • Jaffer August 5, 2010 at 8:47 pm

            I'll be there … I'll be there … other tribe members have buzzed my door about it too ! I still have to follow up with a couple of things I promised you too ! (Sorry – Forgive me ?)

          • Unfinished Rambler August 6, 2010 at 12:45 am

            I'm guessing that's a no, Jaffer. Okay, sorry, for bombarding your comments here, Jen. I'll now go leave a real comment, do the FB/Stumble/RT thing like I promised and leave you the hell alone — at least until tomorrow.

          • redheadranting August 6, 2010 at 4:33 am

            Of course I forgive you. Don't listen to Unfinished Rambler, he is unfinished you know.

    • Reply Janiss August 6, 2010 at 4:17 am

      This year they have Play-Doh, which delights me. Most of the rest of it (except for the chocolate mint gum) I am leaving on the Swag Exchange table.

  • Reply Christine August 5, 2010 at 11:15 am

    Oh, how I remember the days of making the neighborhood kids cry. There's nothing better than the boys and girls being afraid because then they don't start their nonsense in your house. Summer vacays seem to last forever, don't they?

    blogher, shmlogher. Yeah, I'm not going either.

  • Reply Rebecca August 5, 2010 at 11:53 am

    I'm not going, either. Never been. It sounds like kinds fun, but what the heck is the big deal? The hype reminds me of the high school prom all over again… and that wasn't such a great event, either.

    I like NYC. I like traveling. I'd love to go just for that reason. But I'd have to endure all the clatter about fashion, high heels, diaper rash ointments, the bragging about this or that endorsement… meh.

    But if I had my druthers, I'd just LOVE to go to a BlogHim conference. Forget the diaper chit chat– the guys and I could talk about power tools, and construction techniques, and electronic gadgets, and politics!!! Now THAT's a conference. So if there's ever a BlogHim, let's crash it.

    • Reply Janiss August 6, 2010 at 4:15 am

      Rebecca, you would totally OWN a BlogHim conference! I wish they would put one together just so you could show those guys how it's all done.

  • Reply Big Sis August 5, 2010 at 12:24 pm

    Me neither. It makes me sad to hear about all the fun others are having, but I can't justify the money. We'll keep each other company back at home ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply Tracy O'Connor August 5, 2010 at 12:32 pm

    I I thought about scraping together the money and going until I looked at the calender and saw that this weekend is the last weekend before school starts here.
    So then I consoled myself with going to Blogworld until I found out that it was the same time as we have family visiting from outside the country.
    I guess it's just not in the cards for me to go to a big conference this year.

  • Reply dinatibbs August 5, 2010 at 1:11 pm

    yep, i have much better things to do too!

  • Reply Tarheel Rambler August 5, 2010 at 2:16 pm

    I haven't worn a dress since I got my draft notice in the '70s, so I won't be going to Blogher either. Can't say I'm all that upset about it either.

    I guess I don't see how conference like this will benefit me since I'm not trying to make a living from blogging. And some of these conferences are filled with people who embellish the truth in order to get people to subscribe to their 'service' to increase exposure. I'd be much more hyped to attend a virtual conference for Tribal Blogs.

    Having said that, I am a fan of Pioneer Woman because of her photography, and would enjoy meeting her and talking photography. I don't think that would happen at an event like Blogher.

    • Reply redheadranting August 5, 2010 at 8:05 pm

      We're trying to put together something on the fly. We might be having cheese in a can on saltines and I don't think there will be any swag but everyone is welcome, vagina or no.

      • Reply Unfinished Rambler August 6, 2010 at 12:44 am

        Virtual conference? I'd be up (or is it down? well, whichever) for that.

  • Reply Mikewj August 5, 2010 at 6:19 pm

    I'm not going to BlogHer, either, mostly because I don't have a vagina. It's not that I wouldn't want one, mind you–in fact, I think having a vagina could come in very handy at times–it's just that I don't and don't expect to anytime soon.

    Besides, even if I did go to BlogHer, I'd probably run into that Dooce woman, and start crying or punch her in the nose or something. And I couldn't have that.

    • Reply redheadranting August 5, 2010 at 8:03 pm

      If you had a vagina you'd never get anything done.

    • Reply Unfinished Rambler August 6, 2010 at 12:43 am

      Just a note, Michael, you don't have to have a vagina to go to BlogHer. I know several male bloggers that are going…and that have gone in the past. So you still could go in the future…

      …as for not having a vagina and wanting one, I'm not touching that. I'll let you and your psychiatrist work through your issues.

  • Reply Small Town Girl August 5, 2010 at 7:24 pm

    I couldn't get passed the “I am pleased to say I made all of them cry yesterday”. That's good stuff right there!

    • Reply redheadranting August 5, 2010 at 8:02 pm

      I kinda enjoyed it, after all, they have spent all summer making me cry.

  • Reply Unfinished Rambler August 6, 2010 at 12:47 am

    I would like to note that I'm not one of those losers who didn't want to go. I'm one of the losers who did want to go…mainly because I wanted to hang out with the men who will be going there. But I'm fine, hanging back here and giving you more readers too.

    • Reply redheadranting August 6, 2010 at 4:32 am

      If you went you'd just have to hold someone's purse. Do you really want to do that for a whole weekend? I think not. You are better off here with us.

  • Reply Marie August 6, 2010 at 12:58 am

    I'm not going, either. Sigh. I'd like to go but I get 1 conference per year in the family budget and this year it was Book Expo. Oh well!

    • Reply redheadranting August 6, 2010 at 4:31 am

      Book Expo is amazing! I miss that one ( I used to own a book store). Have a great time there. Ooh, and let us know what's coming, ok?

  • Reply Frogsinmyformula August 6, 2010 at 2:00 am

    I'm not going either. My boss wouldn't give me Fri. off and I couldn't find a Saturday pass, so I'll be in baby shower hell this weekend while the rest of the world (or so it seems) is at BlogHer.

    Loooooooong sigh. (Extra long because it's hot and I'm pregnant.)

  • Reply Christy August 6, 2010 at 4:07 am

    Yeah, I'm not going either. Never have, probably never will. Just don't feel worthy. I mean, really, who wants to meet me? I can barely get anyone to comment on my blog. <cue pathetic violins>
    Seriously, though. Don't feel bad. I'm sure you're not even close to the only one not going. I'm too busy being fascinated by the swollen udders of the cows at our county fair. Bah.

    • Reply redheadranting August 6, 2010 at 4:29 am

      “<cue pathetic violins>” = sad trombone

      Swollen udders sounds rather fascinating, I know what it feel likes, breastfeeding sucked. Yes, I am aware I have pissed off half the blogosphere with that remark. Too bad, they are all at Blogher and they can bite me.

  • Reply Sparkle August 6, 2010 at 4:11 am

    Don't fret, Jen, I am not going either. But that's because I don't like travel. If I had my guess, I would be thinking I was going to BlogHer and wind up at the vet's office, which is what always happens when I am stuck in a carrier and put in the car. So I am not taking any chances; I sent my human in my place. I also gave her some of my books to sell at the book store… including my NEW book!!! (Could not help mentioning that.)

    But before you start envying my human, she is having an awful time so far. Since she set up the trip late, long past just about every deadline imaginable, she wound up at the off-campus hotel from hell, with internet that does not work and no elevator and she is on the fifth floor. So after having a tantrum in the hotel room (which was probably heard by the maid), she has spent most of her waking hours at either the Hilton or Starbucks and hasn't been to any parties (except for 10 minutes at the Queersphere to grab dessert), and had both breakfast and dinner (no lunch) at Starbucks just to grab the free internet while she ate. Hopefully Friday and Saturday will be better for her; if she is grouchy she may not give other humans a good impression of me and that would not be good.

    • Reply redheadranting August 6, 2010 at 4:24 am

      But Sparkle, as bad as it is, and it sounds really horrible for your human,
      she has so much to blog about. On the other hand she is going to miss out on
      all of the fun we are planning on having at Tribal Blogs this weekend. We
      are going to have our own virtual convention and we've decided the guys can
      participate, even if they don't have vaginas, (Firefox says that the plural
      of vagina is vaginae, did anyone else know this?).

  • Reply Linda R. August 6, 2010 at 1:14 pm

    Count me as another who's not going. Not that I had even heard of BlogHer until just recently. Actually, I suspect more bloggers are not going than are. I would love a trip to NYC, though.

  • Reply babs (beetle) August 6, 2010 at 5:00 pm

    I'm a loser (I think that's a Beatle's song) 'cause I can't go either. Who'd want to anyway? ๐Ÿ™

  • Reply JD at I Do Things August 9, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    I'm sulking. I really wanted to go to BlogHer, even tho it was overwhelming and exhausting last year. I still had a blast.

    But I'm totally in for a Tribal Blogs Con. LET'S DO IT!

  • Reply meleahrebeccah August 10, 2010 at 11:05 pm

    I was very disappointed because I was unable able to attend BlogHer too. But, at least I managed to have my own little blogger meet up!

  • Reply Katherine Murray August 12, 2010 at 2:55 am

    P.S. Did you see the #homeher10 comments on Twitter? They cracked me up! “The good thing about being at #homeher10 is I don’t have to worry about how I look because I won’t end up on someone’s blog!”

  • Reply Katherine Murray August 12, 2010 at 2:55 am

    I actually would have loved to go, just to go to New York to get the danish there! I would have felt really out of place though… I’m not the “conference type.” Unless all of you guys were there. Then we would make a party! Next year is San Diego. In all honesty, i want to go so bad I can’t stand it. Why? Because I lived there for a few years and was born there. I have vivid memories of first and second grade… I want to go see my old house, my old school… oh wait, I am supposed to be at a conference. Oops!

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